A poignant personal reflection on love and communication is resonating widely after a woman shared a defining lesson she learned from her late husband, describing how it reshaped her approach to relationships, leadership and conflict resolution.
Recounting a disagreement during their marriage, the speaker said her husband was expressing hurt over something she had done. Instead of listening, she responded defensively, attempting to balance his pain with her own grievances from the previous day. Her husband stopped her and calmly reframed the moment.
“Dzigbodi, when you bring your pain into my moment, you make it a competition,” he told her. “I’m not asking you to prove anything. I’m only asking you to listen to my moment.”
He added words that stayed with her long after his passing: “You had your moment yesterday, but you didn’t speak. Today is my moment. Let me be heard.”
The exchange, she said, taught her that love and leadership are deeply connected to timing. True emotional maturity, she noted, lies in recognising that not every conversation is an opportunity for self-defence or self-expression.
“When someone opens up to you, your job is not to defend yourself. Your job is to understand them,” she said, adding that strength is sometimes found in silence, presence and allowing others space to breathe.
Drawing from that experience, she introduced what she calls the “Present Listening Method”, a practical framework for responding when someone shares pain. The method encourages listeners to pause their ego, receive the other person’s words without interruption, empathise without needing to agree, and remain focused on the speaker’s moment. It also stresses the importance of expressing understanding, owning one’s accountability where necessary, and postponing personal grievances until an appropriate time.
“A simple ‘I hear you’ can soften the storm,” she explained, noting that accountability should be expressed clearly but without shame.
She concluded with a broader message applicable beyond personal relationships, extending into leadership and the workplace. Not every conversation, she said, requires justification or defence.
“You don’t build connections by proving your pain,” she said. “You build them by honouring someone else’s moment before you ask them to honour yours.”
Her reflection has struck a chord with audiences seeking healthier ways to communicate, offering a reminder that listening, when practised with intention and empathy, can be one of the most powerful acts of love and leadership.
Credit: Dzigbordi Kwaku-Dosoo, CEO of Dzigbordi Consulting Group (DCG)