There’s a type of leopard called the Amur leopard. In the whole world, there are less than 60 Amur leopards left. The Amur leopard and a good spouse have one thing in common today― they are both endangered species!
You had better thanked your stars if you can call your spouse a good one. If they have faithfully helped you climb life’s ladder, be grateful you have in your home, at least, one of the endangered species. If they have unflinchingly stood by you in good and bad times, thanking God and showing appreciation to these spouses is a must, not an option. The kind of such are rare.
In a world where selfishness has become an everyday lifestyle, it is hard to come across partners who love each other genuinely for who each other is… and not what they have. In a world where almost everyone is loving with their head, not heart, it is almost impossible to see young, purposeful marriages; marriages that are for the betterment of those involved.
Today, everyone wants a partner who will support their dreams when they are not even lifting a finger to support the others. We dwell on the shortcomings of our spouses when we live in the devil’s bosom ourselves. We want our partners to see the good in us but we are not ready to see any good in them. Our selfish nature has become so evident in marriage.
Though many have had the wrong taste of marriage because they made a wrong choice of a spouse, it doesn’t mean there are no great unions out there. People have become better with marriage. Others have become worse. It all depends on the choice of your spouse.
Like a job, marriage should pay those involved. It should be rewarding. It should be one great journey that ought to be enjoyed… not endured. Like a school, marriage should leave both spouses with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, not bad experiences and scars. Like an adventure, the mere mention of marriage should spark a wave of excitement among couples.
If for nothing at all, marriages should make us better. Ideally, this union should be one that will polish us up, not impoverish us. Should we be in search of a place where others will be genuinely interested in becoming better characters on this stage called life, it should be marriage. And… this is why every spouse should be a gold digger!
Each of us has talents within―some fully tapped, others untapped. Every being walking the surface of this earth was born with a wealth of gold within―some mined, some unmined and others in the process of being mined. Whether this wealth within will ever be unearthed or not, it largely depends on whom we decide to settle with. How far we will ever go in this life depends on whom we are going with.
Many things may get your attention when choosing a spouse. What really matters, however, is whether your choice is a suitable helpmate. What matters most about a potential spouse is their potential to discern the gold in you… and help you mine it!
Your spouse can be a grave or a mine. It all depends on how you regard them. A grave is the safe haven of dead dreams and ambitions. A mine, however, is the safe haven of dreams and ambitions that can be exploited for the good of humanity. A spouse who suppresses their partner’s drive and puts a ceiling on how far they can dream… soon turns them into a graveyard― a yard of dead goals and living excuses.
At all times, pay critical attention to your spouse― whether they are grave or gold diggers. Always remember that marriage is supposed to make you a better human being― nothing short of that. Our spouses are supposed to be our greatest cheerleaders. They ought to be our biggest fans. They need to be the greatest miners of the gold we have within.
Our choice of a spouse should be majorly dependent on our future, not present. When opting for a spouse among the whole bunch of suitors, what one should be focusing on is how their lives will be made better with whomever they are settling with. Marriage ought to be purposeful!
Every spouse should be a gold digger. They should find the unmined gold inside the other… and help them dig it out. Gold diggers invest into their mine. They spend their all on their mines because they know the value of that which lies within, even though it may look unattractive in its raw state. When we know the value of that which is within our spouses, we treat them with value.
Many settle for grave diggers instead of gold diggers. Grave diggers bury. Gold diggers dig out. While grave diggers will hide your gifts and talents, gold diggers will exhume them… and take pain to polish them up. That is gold digging!
Grave diggers perceive their spouses as threats, thus, do all they can to bury the gold within them. Gold diggers, on the other hand, perceive these spouses as precious ornaments, doing all within their power to invest in them; from their raw state to their usable state.
Where grave diggers see competition in their spouses, gold diggers see completion. The man is a complement of the woman and vice versa… not a competitor.
An investment into each other is an investment into one’s own self. Nurturing the greatness within our partners means nurturing our own greatness. After all, when our better halves yield fruits, we will as well enjoy those fruits.
Marriage is no marriage when we need to abandon our career for our spouses. Marriage doesn’t mean giving up on our ambitions. Every gold digger of a spouse will always create space for the gold in others to be exploited. They will always keep digging until they find that talent within the other, even though it may be in its raw state.
Support your spouse. Invest in them, their products and services. Be their brand ambassador. The success of their career should be your concern. Discern opportunities in them. Invest in them like a mine. Don’t bury them like a grave. Dig out all the great things within them they have not even dared pursuing. Don’t suppress them.
We all can be great. An investment into your spouse is an investment into yourself. If you can dig gold… why dig grave?
By Kobina Ansah
The writer is a playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications, an Accra-based writing company (www.scribecommltd.com).