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NewsFile GH
Home»Lifestyle»A letter to sexual assault victims
Lifestyle

A letter to sexual assault victims

By newsfileghOctober 16, 20195 Mins Read
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She was backed up against the wall and all she could see was the erection that looked right at her.

He stood close now as she tried to run from the sides but he pushed her back to the wall and pressed his body against hers.

She felt his hard-on poke her stomach and felt weird. She was scared but weak and could do nothing as he plastered his lips on hers. She shivered in disgust and tried to fight but it was hopeless.

Suddenly violent, he squeezed her small breasts and ran his hands down her stomach to her vagina and tried to push his fingers in.

He moved one of his legs between her thighs and propped them open. When he tried to push into her, she bit down on his lower lips and tried to push him away.

The slap she received dulled her senses for a full minute. She couldn’t fight back as he opened her legs, rougher this time and drove in with full force amidst her screams.

The major difference between sexual intercourse and sexual assault/violence/molestation is CONSENT!

What is sexual assault?

The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim.

Sexual assault has gained public attention in the past few decades and has become one of the most high-profile crimes.

Sexual assault in childhood or adulthood impacts not only the victim, but also the victim’s family and friends as well as society as a whole. In this regard, sexual assault is a public health problem that concerns everyone.

This menace should not be treated with kid gloves as the perpetrators should always be punished severely notwithstanding the position he or she holds in the society.

Yes, “he or she” because sexual assault is not a crime limited to just the male gender. It also extends to the female folks as we do have a few cases of assault by ladies against young boys or men too; young men who didn’t consent to such.

Sexual assault has numerous potential consequences that can last a lifetime.

It can be a huge stigma that burdens the victims involved till they say goodbye to mother earth if good care is not taken.

The effects surely shouldn’t be underrated. In the aftermath of a sexual assault or rape, survivors can face extremely difficult and painful emotions and experiences.

Every survivor responds to traumatic events in their own way. The effects of the trauma can be short-term or last long after the sexual assault or rape, depending on the victim and significant factors surrounding the assault.

Sexual assault is a crisis, and we all handle crises in different ways.

I want any victim reading this to understand that you’re not the only one facing this and you can still live a normal life like everyone.

I know sometimes there’s this need to blame yourselves for the unfortunate incident probably thinking you led them on or something.

It is not your fault that an unfortunate human couldn’t control his or her libido and decided to manipulate you and treat you like an object just to satisfy their gravely perverse sense of pleasure.

Sweetheart, it’s not your fault and it’s okay.

We live in a world in which the heinous things you experienced are indeed reality and cannot be erased from memory so easily.

People may try to downplay it, to say that your experience isn’t greater than what they’ve heard and it doesn’t matter much since someone has experienced worse.

Sexual assault is absolutely horrible. What you face or faced is horrible, it doesn’t matter how bad it is.

And yes! There are idiots who will say you asked for it. Ignore them, because they are most likely inconsequential bigots that lack empathy and have no hint of compassion.

Learn to drown them all out. When the sharpest words of scorn and hate want to cut you down in mockery of the sexual scourge you faced, just send a flood and drown them all out.

You are stronger than you think. You are still here, still kicking, still surviving, even after what you have gone through.

You are strong in a way that people cannot understand because sexual assault hurts in ways we don’t understand.

The nightmares, sleepless nights, depression, silent tears, flashbacks and trauma, all these are too many emotions for one person and you’re still living.

In truth, it’s not easy being strong in the light of the dark experiences of sexual assault/violence, but we must strive to be always greater than what we have suffered.

We must never settle for less or be defined by the trauma of it all. You are strong my ladies and young men. You are warriors because that is what you’ve become in trying to truly live beyond the darkness of the sexual stigma.

You are so, so strong. You are no stranger to the dark. And one day I hope that you make peace with what has happened, accept it and find lasting happiness beyond everything, that you come to terms with the actions of the perpetrator.

Because you know what?

You deserve it (happiness), you deserve all the love, joy and peace in the world.

You deserve to keep marching on to the beautiful beats you drum of a better and brighter day beyond the dark pictures of sexual violence. You deserve so much more and better.

By Deborah Dzifa Makafui

Deborah Dzifa Makafui is a student journalist at the Ghana Institute of Journalism.

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